When your dog is getting on your nerves you probably wish for a way to tell her to just relax. Believe it or not, calm behavior can be taught. We often reward dogs for pestering us by interacting with them (even if that interaction is yelling) but ignore them when they are lying quietly or chewing on a toy. In this exercise, you will be intentionally rewarding your dog for being calm.

This is a deceptively simple exercise. I assign it as homework in my obedience classes, but I find that from reading the description, people think “Oh yeah, I get it” but they don’t actually practice. It’s like reading about meditation–reading about it just doesn’t accomplish anything! With my private clients, this is something we actually work on during lessons and when practiced daily for a couple of weeks it works wonders.

Choose a time when you are watching reruns on TV or reading. Put your dog on leash and tie the leash to a doorknob or heavy piece of furniture so that you can reach your dog, but she can’t reach you. Make sure there is nothing for her to get into within reach. Now, sit down in your chair and ignore your dog. Initially, she will be excited and may bark or whine because she thinks the leash means you are doing something. Just ignore her. Wait for her to get bored and sit or lie down. This may take a while! When she does, pet her with three or four long, calm strokes, then ignore her again. If she gets up while you are petting her, stop petting immediately. Gradually wait for longer periods of lying down before you pet and praise her. Be sure to be rewarding calm lying down and/or chewing on a toy and not whining or pestering for attention. Continue for fifteen minutes. If things go well, by that time your dog will be snoozing! Wake her up, tell her Free! (or OK) and let her off leash.

If you want to add a command to this, you can tell her “Good Relax” when she is lying down calmly.

Practice “Relax” regularly with dogs that are very busy or needy and always getting into something. Please recognize that this exercise will only work in conjunction with regular exercise and attention. If you dog’s needs are not being met, she won’t be able to calm down.

Once your dog understands this exercise, you can also use tethering your dog as a consequence if she is being a pest. If she keeps asking for attention after you have asked her to Relax, tether her in her Relax location until she has calmed down. Please be careful to never leave your dog tied up for a second when you are not there to supervise–dogs can easily injure a leg or hang themselves.